Podcast #6: 

It’s time to discuss your questions!

Listen and subscribe in  iTunes  or  Stitcher

(You can also listen on your web browser  – click here)

Enjoy – and please share this post with your friends!

Krista and Dr. Barbara


New book for parents!

Nurturing Healthy Attachment: Building Parent-Child Connections to Last a Lifetime

Pre-Order paperback here

Pre-Order Kindle on Amazon

 


Podcast notes

Thank you for those of you who have taken the time to share what you are learning, liking, or having difficulty with. 

Anytime you have a question, feel free to email us at nurturingtheheartofachild@gmail.com

Also, if you enjoy our podcast, would you subscribe on iTunes and leave us a rating and review?  It just takes a minute but means so much to us!  Thank you!

Question 1:

In episodes 3 and 4 we took a pretty firm stance against spanking.  For parents who are Christians, wanting to follow God and the Bible fully, how can you justify not spanking when there are verses that seem to condone it as an important part of discipline?

 

Question 2:

What if mom and dad are not on the same page with discipline?

  • We all think we know children and what it means to be a child based on our own experiences.  Was it the right kind of experience?  We have to do the deep work of reflection and look at our past and say do I really want to reproduce this pattern?  Understanding child development is taking time to understand God’s design.
  • Raising a child is the most awesome, heavy responsibility that is given to any parent.  Most men know more about football, their computers, or the engines of their cars than they do about children.  Most men spend a lot of time researching before a big purchase or making a big decision but spend very little time trying to know and understand children.
  • Understanding how God knit us together is the responsibility of every parent.  Not to accept this responsibility with a humble heart is an affront to God.
  • Let’s be practical- maybe your husband won’t listen to a 25 minute podcast, but perhaps he would read the notes on our blog.  

Question 3:

Do you still correct your child when their behavior is totally age-appropriate?  For example, if my one year old is taking toys from other kids, how do I respond to that action that is age appropriate but still ultimately undesirable?

Yes, you still respond. With one’s and two’s you use distraction. Most of the time they will respond to you handing them a different toy that is similar and you hand the toy back to the child that had it first.

If your child reacts and starts to throw a tantrum, pick him up, remove him from the scene say something like, “I know you really like to play with the _____” and draw his attention to something else–look out the window, walk to another part of the room and find something to do. If your child continues to protest there is probably something else playing into it as well–fatigue, hunger, overstimulation etc.

It is “normal” for one’s and two’s to take things from others…they begin to understand the concept of sharing and turn taking at around 3–and notice I said BEGIN to understand:)

It’s all about Instruction and correction.  Not every behavior needs a consequence!  Guide without anger.

Question 4: 

How do I respond when I see other mom friends holding their children to inappropriate expectations at playdates?

Your example will speak the loudest.  If you can speak up–do.  If not then just keep living it.

Here are some simple tools to start with:

  • Ignore the no and give two yeses.
  • Do overs.
  • Listen to the podcast!

Please feel free to send us any questions that arise after listening to our podcast.  Email us at  nurturingtheheartofachild@gmail.com 

Other resources:

http://whynottrainachild.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Thy-Rod-And-Thy-Staff-They-Comfort-Me-Mar-2013.pdf 

 

 


Order the new book, Nurturing Healthy Attachment!

Pre-Order paperback here

Pre-Order on Amazon Kindle