Podcast #8: 

Attachment is my absolute favorite topic – because it can change your family!

In previous episodes, we spoke about the topic in general. Today we’re talking about “insecure  attachment” and discuss the signs.   

Listen here: 

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We love hearing from you!  Please feel free to send us any questions that arise after listening to our podcast and hopefully we can answer yours on a future question and answer podcast!  Email us at nurturingtheheartofachild@gmail.com

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Krista and Dr. Barbara

New book for parents!

Nurturing Healthy Attachment: Building Parent-Child Connections to Last a Lifetime

Pre-Order paperback here


What is Attachment?

Attachment in the context of an adult and child relationship is a strong and enduring bond between a child and an adult who assumes responsibility for the well being of that child.  It is a relationship where a more mature other assumes responsibility for meeting the needs of the child in a warm, responsive and consistent manner.  It is a relationship where the child feels a sense of both physical and emotional safety in the presence of the adult, and has the confidence that that person will meet their needs in a kind and loving manner.

Insecure Attachment

We spent the first two episodes explaining attachment and how a secure attachment is developed.  Today we are going to dive into the first type of insecure attachment, and what that looks like in a child.


So what happens when a child doesn’t have secure attachment?

Types of insecure attachment.   Today we will focus on insecure avoidant.

How does the insecure avoidant attachment pattern develop?

Dismissive parents- the needs of their child make them uncomfortable.

More concerned about how other people view them.

Achievement oriented, task oriented, uncomfortable with intimacy.

“If you’re going to cry- I’ll give you something to cry about.”

How does insecure avoidant attachment manifest itself in children?

Characteristics in infancy: avoid eye contact, seem not to miss their caregiver, don’t cry very often.

We love these children because they are “independent.”  They demand so little from us.

Aggressive avoidant

Withdrawn avoidant

If you notice any of these signs in yourself or in your child, what do you do?

Self: Deep reflection as to why and looking at how you were parents.  Acknowledge that you were parented by imperfect people.  We are not being disloyal by recognizing these things and wanting to change them for our own families.

I just returned from leading a wonderful two-day program, (see below) where I helped teachers and childcare workers understand how to help children who have experienced trauma.

If your community or church would like to host a seminar on trauma, parenting, or any other child development topic, please contact me and let’s discuss.

Continuing education credit is available for some topics. 



Order my new book, Nurturing Healthy Attachment!

Pre-Order here